8 Relationship Tips Couples Therapists Are Giving All the Time Right Now
The pandemic has ripple effects in nearly every part of our lives, whether you’re coping with it relatively well or feeling completely underwater. So, as a couple, you need to talk about the feelings the pandemic is bringing up, Robert Allan, Ph.D., LMFT, emotionally focused therapy trainer and assistant professor of couple and family therapy at the University of Colorado, Denver, tells SELF. Maybe that’s the boredom and monotony so many people are experiencing—it’s what day? month? season?—as well as any fears.
It’s worth noting that Allan emphasizes communicating the feelings the pandemic stirs up. It might feel like venting about daily case numbers or the latest governmental blunder is communicating, but dig deeper to determine the feelings underneath your venting—then talk about those. This level of vulnerability and understanding can create a real sense of safety in your relationship, which is especially critical given all the uncertainty we’re dealing with. “I’m more focused on how do you each feel safe with each other and [ensuring] that connection is secure,” Allan says.